Reading it has shown that it does capture my current state of mind or has been for some time. A somethings it indicates are a bit of surprise such as not taking responsibility, not being coachable , not wanting to socialable - it seems my current situation for some time has forced me to have to resist to just survive.

Some the clients assigned to me have complex financial lives and are quite demanding. I feel I am having to work on things to try to simplify the work. With colleagues I ve noticed most don’t seem to have so much to deal with. At least they have more guidance initially from manager in early part of career. I ve just had to figure out a lot without direction

I ve had to be agreeable to learn and grow - and be accepted in a team oriented environment. Having to reach out to various individuals to complete work and even try to make it efficient.

I am motivated from within. I wanted to make something of myself and hope eventually contribute to making a change to benefit others. In the process I want to create a good life. I want to see what I am capable of as I come from a family struggling financially growing up.

I struggle with this. Due to my surrounding or growing up didn’t develop it. I do struggle with this. I am afraid to make mistake for fear of negative consequences. Work environment has only made it worse due to harassment and harsh treatment.

Due to my current experiences and lack of support I am struggling and feel on verge of breakdown. Instead of complements I only receive criticism at work. Very rarely a compliment. It’s extremely uncomfortable. And wearing me down.

I don’t have an ounce of happiness right now. Feels empty. Only thing I feel in my control is the effort I put in and even for that I don’t any recognition. Feels hopeless and have had prolonged periods of unhappiness. Personally professionally socially etc

I want to become self confident, become tough minded again, I want to show personally and professionally that I have best of intentions for people and that I can be a great leader. Why people feel threatened by me I don’t know. I want to turn obstacles in front of me into opportunities. And overcome them. I do genuine care for people but I also don’t want to keep sacrificing me for people who don’t appreciate or want to understand or who want to take advantage.